- That furry red monster is called "Melmo," NOT "Elmo," as I'm sure many of you thought. Consider yourself corrected.
- Peas are an excellent lunchtime food. They are, however, completely unacceptable at dinner time.
- It is impolite to acknowledge one's own poop. Therefore, if asked if you have pooped, the answer is always "no," even when odor and diaper size indicate otherwise.
- As a corollary, it is imperative to point out all other poop, whether in a potty book or a grownup going into our bathrooms or every dog in Chicago.
- Similarly, grownups are woefully ignorant of all water in Chicago and, like poop, it must be pointed out at every turn. Puddles, sinks, fountains, lake.
- A book's meaning isn't truly gleaned until you've read it at least ten times in a row. Ditto with songs.
- When one is sick, Jell-O, ice cream, and Motrin are their own food groups. Actually, you probably already knew that.
- Child proof is a misnomer. Child resistant is perhaps a better term. Where there's a will, there's a way.
- Drawers are for standing in.
- It's never too soon to start wearing a bra (bikini tops also count).
I'm sure there are more than 10, but these will do for now. I hope you are able to learn as I have and apply these teachings to your own lives, which will surely be better for doing so.
