10 things Eliza has taught me

I didn't think it was fair to keep depriving the world of these pearls of wisdom, so here you go:

• That furry red monster is called "Melmo," NOT "Elmo," as I'm sure many of you thought. Consider yourself corrected.
  
• Peas are an excellent lunchtime food. They are, however, completely unacceptable at dinner time.
• It is impolite to acknowledge one's own poop. Therefore, if asked if you have pooped, the answer is always "no," even when odor and diaper size indicate otherwise.
• As a corollary, it is imperative to point out all other poop, whether in a potty book or a grownup going into our bathrooms or every dog in Chicago.
• Similarly, grownups are woefully ignorant of all water in Chicago and, like poop, it must be pointed out at every turn. Puddles, sinks, fountains, lake.
  
• A book's meaning isn't truly gleaned until you've read it at least ten times in a row. Ditto with songs.
• When one is sick, Jell-O, ice cream, and Motrin are their own food groups. Actually, you probably already knew that.
• Child proof is a misnomer. Child resistant is perhaps a better term. Where there's a will, there's a way.
• Drawers are for standing in.
  
• It's never too soon to start wearing a bra (bikini tops also count).
  

I'm sure there are more than 10, but these will do for now. I hope you are able to learn as I have and apply these teachings to your own lives, which will surely be better for doing so.